


Of Pity and Power

by Anonymous



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Purple Prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25222117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: He never uttered such a simple name. He acted like it was poison that burned his tongue, a flame billowing at his direction. Alexander Hamilton could never feel the same about one name and one letter.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39
Collections: Anonymous





	Of Pity and Power

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old piece of work I wrote back around December 27, 2016. Wanted to share it, even though the writing is a bit cringy and I think I was trying too hard to make it sound fancy. I deliberated for a bit if I really wanted to post this, but I do want to archive it... and the nostalgia fest I got from watching Hamilton was the final nail in the coffin.
> 
> So. Please enjoy. I do miss Lams as a ship... I might read fanfics or write more of them now that my love for the musical has been reignited. I have not edited a single detail from this fic since I sent it to a group chat.
> 
> Dedicated to Apple. Even if our friendship fell out and we drifted apart, I still cherish the times we had together.

Alexander Hamilton was an epitome of a hurricane.

While it is an unwritten taboo to speak of his past, many barely know it. Not everyone knew he was a self taught bastard orphan from the island of Nevis managed to utilize his words to earn a ticket to a position many upperclassmen may only dream of. Plenty have assumed he was an only child, others claimed to have been told that his parents were married; rumors only blended together to form the dark shadow of the infamous political character.

He was an abnormality, disrupting all concepts of social classes and bigotry and tearing them all apart.

The immigrant even had preposterous rumors surrounding him, such as riding into America on a ship that was set ablaze and writing Farmer Refuted! (Embarrassingly, those in Congress were paranoid enough to make him send full reports on all his political doings at such a tight deadline thought to be impossible. The immigrant had proved them all wrong, passive aggressively flipping them the bird as he submitted his papers two weeks early.)

In the public's eyes, he was a powerful and notorious figure to be feared.

Have pity on the man and the workload he has been burdened with.

Sure, Alexander could, would, and did speak for six hours during the Constitutional Convention. Congress would rant and complain on that (and simultaneously laugh on John Adams' blunder to accidentally send his own diary entries). However, for a man who spoke empires of paragraphs, there were many things that the masses do not know about him.

His personal life was one of the most gossiped about. Hamilton's enemies would utilize 'creole bastard' and their wealth to oppose him, searching for weaknesses in the fighting spirit.

Though, behind closed doors, was a figure that nobody needs to know.

If you ever catch the man writing, have pity. You'll catch a glimpse of a shadowy shell that has lost life. He will stiffen as he can no longer evade using the letter 'j'. His cursive handwriting will turn blocky and his loop will dip down a tad bit lower.

If anyone saw him, they'd see a majestic leader reduced to such a low level synonymous to dirt. The immigrant would run a hand through his hair as someone screams of revolution; flashbacks of cold, harsh winter that bit into his skin would pass his mind.

He was never the same after the war.

Hamilton had called his enemies many names, but never dared to use their Christian names for reasons many do not know. It became a trend as the man would typically call his comrades by respectful titles or their first names.

Enter John Adams.

Whenever someone would utter the chubby man's name, Alexander would tense for just a moment; his shoulders would stiffen, his hands would freeze, and his breath would hitch. Then, he would resume with his doings, working just a tad bit harder at the utterance of 'John Adams'.

At first, a few assumed he was doing it out of respect.

They were proven wrong when drafts were processed, sentences picking apart Adams and insults were thrusted around the room.

What was unsettling was when delegates such as 'John Blair' or 'John Dickinson' were brought up in conversations; you'd immediately grab Alexander's attention, his eyes would widen slightly and a glimmer of hope would pass, before you'd lose all of them at once.

He had no bad blood with those delegates, and many were curious and fearful of why Hamilton referred to all of them by their surnames. While the obvious answer of the sharing of their Christian names, it did no harm to communicate with one another while relying on context clues.

No one ever saw the letters.

Hamilton would meticulously utilize his large vocabulary to avoid certain words, as if they were plagued with misfortune. Away from the public's peering eyes, he'd sob to himself. He'd force his workload together in an effort to remove an imprinted freckled face from his memories.

It never worked.

Everyday, he's always partially die from hearing it over. John, John, John. Hamilton knew he had to continue his best friend's legacy; the Lieutenant Colonel would, most likely, be remembered only by textbooks and not by actions.

Alexander could never muster the energy to write a simple letter of the alphabet— an affectionate nickname he had for the other man. He could never muster the energy to write anything similar to his name without freezing in fear, as if someone had claimed him to be a sodomite.

So, have pity for the man.

He is a man but, a child forced to grow up. Have pity on him if he would release a bout of anger. Have pity on him if he acts irrationally. Have pity on him even if his tongue slips and the ink spills onto parchment.

Forgive him if he mistakes your name for another, forgive him if he has eyes that longed for a lover, forgive him if he was never satisfied with the woman he married.

Have pity.


End file.
